I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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