can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
