So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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