she was so not down for the gang bang
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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