i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
dude. I can hear the air.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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