You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
