id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
