I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was confusing and full of hummus
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
