I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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