I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
