Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
