Betty ford says i'm here all night
well you can't waste a boner
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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