RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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