Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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