My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
