I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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