Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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