i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
