well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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