seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
