I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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