But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
