told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
