I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
