if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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