If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
