did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
