Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
