please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
