to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
