Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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