You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
