Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
