Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
