His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
