He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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