? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
