you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
