He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
