Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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