haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
