Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
