I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Alive.
So much puke
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
