I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
