I'm really into asian looking animals
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
