do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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