i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
