I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
