..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
