My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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